1 Samuel is the Bible’s first `leadership manual`. And strikingly, the common factor in its very first stories is raising up godly children – or not…
Unsurprisingly, because this is where leadership often starts. So Hannah gives her son to God, and he becomes a great leader (ch1); whereas Eli is a disastrous failure as a leader, although with a good heart, because he lets his sons get away with all kinds of sin (ch2).
But personally I find this whole topic really strange. Sometimes you see offspring whose godliness clearly reflects their parents. But then there are wonderfully godly parents whose kids who are far from God. (Or, one child is a keen Christian, while another loves the parents yet has no faith.) Or, you have offspring who, when you look at the parents, should really be atheists, yet aren’t. (I’m one. My dad was a preacher but violent to his wife. I’ve watched him give my mum a nosebleed then go out and preach. I ought to be an atheist.)
So, no straightforward patterns, and Christian parents need all the help we can get. So I thought these two postings could usefully collect some of the best ideas I’ve encountered. Just on a few particular areas; there’s so much more to be said about parenting generally – about giving your kids time; helping them be sure they’re loved unreservedly, in ways they recognize (and, that they also have a heavenly Father who loves them more even than we can); helping them see there is right and wrong and the difference matters enormously; really communicating with them…
But how to help them get a heart for the Bible? Regular Bible reading as a child was found in some 2016 research to be the biggest factor in predicting young adults’ spiritual health. So let’s make Bible reading with each child a priority; don’t allow any regular activities or arrangements that prevent it. (And how do we create the feeling that a day has gone wrong if it hasn’t included time with God?)
One idea is to read a passage to your child yourself, bring out (or ask them to spot) one relevant application, and respond together in prayer. (For example teaching them `TeaSPoon` – one Thankyou, one Sorry, one Please.) Make it a time of physical closeness. As they get older, get them to read the passage (or at least to hold the Bible). Keep it short and snappy – reading one gospel section takes less than five minutes. And if you’re doing the old testament or the epistles, be selective. But choose what you read together so that over the years they get a basic idea of the Bible story…
If you’re doing this as a whole family (but in our church most of us found that hard), make it a positive time. Try hard to avoid scolding at these times; maybe ask each child to bring a joke to share at the end; or do it just before a family game.
Helping them get a heart for radical holiness: From early on we want them to catch the vision that we, and they, are called to be different, radical, distinctive. Expecting from the start (and telling Bible stories this way) that following Jesus and doing the right thing will sometimes bring hostility, and will surely involve living differently from others (a vital idea heading into the teen years); and, that Jesus is with us in all this, and in the end it will be utterly worth it. The idea that there’s something subversive, something against-the-system, about discipleship can be attractive to teenagers. This vision may flow out from their learning about the persecuted church; help them see the implication that we too will be radical, in how we handle sex, money, honesty, expenditure on holidays and gadgets…. the films we watch, the way we deliberately put God first in our time… And it may be good to get together with a few other parents to discuss the tough issues – what computer games, films, teen books are ok? What Christian resources have we found?
Helping them get a heart for global evangelism: The adventurous, heroic nature of world evangelism is something to get them dreaming about; the best adventure of all, the biggest dream to live for! Make a poster together of the missionaries you’re praying for? And as you help them budget, teach them to take out first the money they’re giving to God (10%?). (Increase their pocket money by 10% if you’re doing this for the first time!) Maybe have a simple meal once a fortnight, and give the money saved to a hunger charity; write the cheque at the meal table, and make sure the thankyou letter is celebrated when it comes. Or have a giving project where each family member decides secretly how much they will give, and brings the money in an envelope.
More in part 2……
