What may the coming 18 months hold? Some of us will face big decisions: about a relationship; or a job, or changing jobs, or even relocating, or maybe going into `fulltime Christian service`; or perhaps about some major financial commitment…
And we each want to grow through these – to choose what is God’s way, and so see our gifting & potential released. How then can I know what’s the best thing to do? How can I make choices that mean I’m investing my time and my life into the right things; making confident decisions with good results that will last forever?
LET’S START WITH SOME FUNDAMENTAL ISSUES…
God loves us enormously, and, if we truly act as Jesus’ disciples, he promises he will guide us: `I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you` (Psalm 32:8). `Who, then, is the person who fears [deeply respects] the Lord? He will instruct them in the ways they should choose` (Psalm 25:12). `He leads me beside quiet waters… He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake!` (Psalm 23:2-3). Thankyou Lord!
God has a good plan for our lives. `”I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”` (Jer 29:11).
But what do we mean when we ask `what is the best thing for me to do’? At the back of our minds is the thought dominant, What will help me become better off financially? If so we need to reshape our thinking; that’s too limited a goal, and may cause us to lose sight of something much bigger. What is really best for us? Just suppose there was someone who loved us – & was very very wise – & cared for our freedom – & knew us absolutely intimately – knew what would truly make us flourish and make our lives worthwhile… what would THEY say?
Christians are convinced that we have exactly that; our loving Father; God. He made us, and loves us, and knows exactly how we function, how we will grow, and where we need to be to flourish. He loves us enormously; he is all wise; and he communicates…
So then we need to reshape the question. `What is the best thing for me to do’ really means, How does God see it? What has God made me for? What is God’s wise, loving overall design for my life, and how do I fit into that now?
For example, suppose there’s a job (or an exam result) that we wanted but don’t get. Lord, why? Yet we know that God wants to overrule our lives in ways that will help us be all we were created for. Can we trust him, or even start to be glad we missed that job? Or another example, marriage… God gives us a partner for various reasons, but one of the biggest is to link us up with someone with whom we’ll grow to become the people God has made us each to be, and together to achieve the things God created us to accomplish. Thinking like that may straightaway save us trouble in deciding about a particular possible partner, if they have no real interest in God’s purposes; or we may even begin to be relieved that that didn’t work out…
In the big decisions, then, the first question God wants us to ask isn’t, How can I become a genius who guesses all the big decisions right; but rather, What does God want? What is God doing in and through my life, and how can I fit into that? What decision now will help me grow with God to become more like Jesus, and to serve him and others in the way he wants?
I will find the way that is truly best for me, most fulfilling, ultimately most joyous, when my heart is set on the all-wise Maker’s overall design for my life. (Isn’t that logical?) Psalm 25:12 again: `Who, then, is the person that fears [deeply respects] the Lord? He will instruct them in the ways they should choose.` Or Isaiah 30 where God says, `Woe to the children who carry out plans that aren’t mine`: it’s a foolish thing to do. We want to learn to consult our Maker before making major decisions!
SO DO I WANT GUIDANCE FIRST, OR FIRSTLY A GUIDE??
From Genesis to Revelation we learn the amazing thing that, because God loves us, he genuinely wants our company. When Jesus chose the twelve it was, first, `so that they might be with him, and` – but only secondly – `that he might send them out to preach` (Mark 3:14). But therefore he’s less interested in our `getting the decisions right’, `spotting all the right answers’ (he could have given us some sort of horoscope for that), than in our learning to walk with him as our Guide.
As a result, in practice we find an odd thing. The Bible doesn’t tell us much about how we learn to read external `signs’, how we spot one-off signposts that don’t need his actual presence. It is much more interested in how we develop the internal, lasting `wisdom’ that comes from God’s increasing filling within us. This passion for wisdom is what God praises Solomon for prioritizing at the expense of everything else (2 Chron 1:7-12); this is also what much of Proverbs is about. What God wants to do is reshape us from the inside so that his presence and his wisdom fill us; so that we know him, know how he feels about life and the world, learn to sense the way he would want us to go; and so that he thinks his thoughts through our minds.
(And this, incidentally, explains an odd thing we may have experienced: sometimes, the longer we live as Christians, the fewer the external signposts become. The great missionary Hudson Taylor apparently said that, the longer he lived, the more often he felt like a man walking in the fog. But isn’t this what we should expect? Isn’t it like a child learning to walk? To begin with, the parent holds on to the child to stop the child falling. But as time goes on, that stops happening, because the parent’s nature is in the child, and that’s all that’s needed. So sometimes we are given no external guidance; God leaves us with hard decisions because he knows we have walked with Him, learnt his ways, and his nature is in us, and he knows we can get them right.)
(And at other times, of course, God is saying simply, I’m not going to give you clarity yet, I want you to spend time with me.)
HOW THEN DO I BECOME THE KIND OF PERSON GOD WILL GUIDE?
If I want God to guide me, to think his thoughts through my mind, I will need…
To have brought my life deliberately under his rule. (It’s inside the kingdom that the King guides.)
To have a passionate commitment to his will and vision. (And praying, very deliberately, like the young Samuel: `Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.`)
To be actively storing up His wisdom in my heart as I read the Bible day by day. (Giving it at least the sort of time that we give to, say, social media, or the newspaper.) If we’ve not stored up enough of God’s thoughts within us, we shouldn’t complain if we don’t know what to do! Storing up his wisdom in my heart means that, more and more, I get to sense how God sees things.
And to be working that wisdom out in day-to-day, practical obedience. Otherwise our Bible study is worthless and meaningless, a mere intellectual game. (Romans 12:2 is interesting: `Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then` – as your mind is renewed, and you practise radical, holy distinctiveness – `you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.`)
It’s in actual obedience, as we’re actively doing what we know is his will, that we’re most likely to sense the next step. As the saying goes, it’s easier to steer a car if it’s already moving…
LASTLY: HOW CAN I DECIDE A PARTICULAR CHOICE?
(What follows assumes we are already Christ’s disciples who have very deliberately made him our Lord.)
Does the Bible say anything specific about this matter?
It’s daft to pray, `Guide me Lord – is it ok for me not to declare all my taxable income, or to lie about my expenses?` – it’s daft, or actually irreverent and disrespectful, when God has said clearly in his Word, Don’t!, but we want that said to us some other way before we obey it.
It’s daft to pray `Guide me Lord – should I develop this relationship even though it’s a little bit adulterous? Won’t it make me happier longterm?` – when God has said clearly, No, don’t, you won’t!
It’s daft to pray, `Guide me Lord – shall I start a romantic partnership with this person although I know that, deep down, they don’t have the same commitment to You, but in every other way it will mean I’ll be fulfilled?` (In other words, `Lord is it ok for me to move slowly towards a marriage of a kind Your Word rules out?`) Again, it’s daft to `seek God’s will` about something when he has clearly said in his Word, Don’t!
When God’s Word is clear, it’s foolish to `seek God’s guidance` (no matter how passionately) and hope that he will somehow contradict himself!
But often Scripture doesn’t speak so clearly about a choice we face. Then what?
Pray (and perhaps fast; not because it earns God’s guidance – it doesn’t – but it says both to you and to him that you’re serious about wanting it…) But pray what?:
Seek out & repent of any sin that might hinder you sensing God’s will
Recognize the weakness and biases of your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5).
Surrender to His good, loving, Fatherly will and plan. (Rather than your priority being just to use him to find the best way to get what you want!) What will contribute most to his glory?
Ask him to illuminate the complications in your desires and motives. (`The heart is deceitful above all things` (Jer 17:9)!) .
Ask him to flood your mind with his wisdom, and so to help you think in line with his will. `If any of you lacks wisdom, they should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to them!` (James 1:5)
He may perhaps give you supernatural external signposts – speaking through dreams, stray verses, signs, coincidences, etc. God does these things! – and perhaps they are especially significant when they’re unexpected. But treat such experiences carefully: our hearts and wishes can be very deceptive; particularly when it comes to romantic desires. (Be cautious with `fleeces`; these look back to an old testament event (Judges 6) where the central figure didn’t have God’s Spirit as we do today. `Lord, if he phones today I’ll know it’s your will that I marry him` is a good example of a `fleece` gone wrong!)
We need to be cautious even with words of prophecy; take them seriously, but don’t see them as completely conclusive. Look at Acts 21:10-14 where Agabus’ prophecy contained things Paul and the others needed to hear, but was inaccurate in its detail (it wasn’t exactly what happened); and, more importantly, this disturbing prophecy could easily have turned Paul aside from what was actually God’s will. I remember Robert Scott Cook saying, the more important the content of the prophecy, the more it needs confirmation; and maybe in more than one way. (And one of my African colleagues warned against being swept along by someone saying, `The Lord has told me to marry you.` The correct answer is, of course, When he tells me too, we’ll do it. But as he observed, this kind of thing usually happened just to the prettier sisters…)
Likewise, feelings of peace are significant but not conclusive: they may just mean that one alternative is something we really want to do. Or, a feeling of unease may well be God’s way of alerting us to the fact that one alternative is ethically dubious or otherwise unwise – or, it may just reflect our sense that this option is right but can be intimidating or costly…
For these reasons and many others: If it is an important decision, don’t take it alone. God has not made us for loneliness; He made us part of a community; seek the wisdom of other, varied people who know and love God, people maybe with different experience and perspectives (and even biases!) `You are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it… The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!”, and the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!”` (1 Cor 12). It must still be your decision (that’s important); but others can pray with you, help straighten your thinking out, give you new insights…
Trust God’s promise to give you his wisdom; he promises to give this to each of his children. (`If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, and it will be given to him!` (James 1:5).) You don’t have to be a special `saint’, just an ordinary believer living under his reign! (Although again, this is assuming you’re a disciple of Jesus; if you’re still outside, this is how it will be when you are inside!)
Ask him for wisdom; and then, prayerfully, trusting He loves you massively and hears your prayer, step forward and make your decision. You may not feel wise – we have no little dial on our shoulder that says `Now you have all the wisdom you need` – so this step too involves choosing to live by faith that God keeps his promises! (Whereas paralysis comes from unbelief in his love!)
If you have faithfully sought his will, rest in the fact that he answers your prayer for wisdom, and he will not let you fall. Leave the consequence with Him. Life is not like a tightrope. If you are his son or daughter, he loves you, and if you’ve made the wrong decision (as we all do sometimes), he will step in and point you back into the right way as you go on walking with him. Trust Him for this, and ask his Spirit’s help to move ahead in confident peace. `In all things God works` – longterm! – `for the good of those who love him!` (Rom 8:28). `The Lord is my shepherd… He leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake ` (Psalm 23).
ABSORB TIME:
Right decisions grow from a life
lived longterm under the rule of God
storing up the wisdom of God
passionate in desiring the purposes of God
and trusting his love, and his promise to give us his wisdom.
Worship him for these things, and pray that he may help you live them out!
PS This post hasn’t had much to say about how we `hear God speak`, because I’ve been shaped quite a lot by spiritual traditions that tend not to talk so much in those terms (except to describe feeding on Scripture); and so I don’t have too much confidence in writing about them. But a book that seems much appreciated in this area (and that I’m a third of the way through right now!) is Pete Greig’s How to Hear God: a simple guide for normal people.
