This is something we can helpfully reflect on in our own group, starting with two questions: What characterises our time with people we like?, and, What has characterised groups we’ve enjoyed being part of?
So then…
1. What characterises our time with people we like?
Answers from one gathering of homegroup leaders included…
activities where we can talk together
shared interests (hobbies… shared history and memories… grandchildren… shared passion for God’s kingdom)
food
coffee…
And:
gym, fishing, boating, playing badminton, listening to music, TV, making people smile, bowling, walking, social evenings, jazz café , watching videos, going to the pub together, quizzes, games…
How many of these could be adapted to help in building relationships with each other in our homegroup? (And also, with people God is beginning to draw into his family?)
2. Then: What has characterised groups we’ve enjoyed being part of? Answers from the same group included…
going through experiences or even suffering together
having the same challenges and concerns
lots of time together
planning together
laughing together
mutual commitment (trust that everybody is wanted)
intimacy
honesty
humour
feeling a significant sense of being needed by each other
openness
3. So what activities could we do together to build our sense of homegroup community?
Again, some suggestions…
An evening when we’re just meeting to eat a takeaway meal and chat
cook together
walk or barge trip
games evening
night out together
bring & share night where everyone brings a favourite music recording or poem
cooking or washing up for Alpha
joint project, working together, doing something for others (eg gardening makeover, do-it-yourself helping with someone’s house, wallpapering)
watching a film together (whether `big-content’, for discussion, or brainless, for amusement)
picnic, barbecue, hiring a patisserie
birthday parties
game with questions: eg What is your earliest memory? What are you proud of from your schooldays?
And…?
Which of these would our group like to do in the next four months?
4. What other ideas can build fellowship in our homegroup? Answers included:
Address/phone/e mail lists (NB be sensitive to the `digital divide’; not everyone loves the computer!); texting each other; lists of birthdays; map of where people live…
Breaking up a large meeting into smaller subgroups can help everybody belong (but you don’t want to have two subgroups in the same room, as they’ll listen to each other – you need one or at least three)…
Are there diverse personalities in your group? The prize is bigger in terms of what you can learn from each other, but the journey’s harder…
We need God’s guidance to find our way consciously through the tension of intimacy (deepening relationships with people we know) over against openness to newcomers; and, meeting mainly in the same house gives continuity, but moving round different homes enables more spouses to come…
Like in a party, getting to know each other can work better if sometimes we’re all standing up and more likely to mill around…
A good group embodies the sense that anyone can be used by God to bless others. It’s a vital ability in the leader to underline this, to spot people’s strengths and help them grow with what they’ve got….
The very existence of a homegroup is a witness in a culture hungry for true community!
(To repeat: many of the ideas here are not mine – big thanks to all the people who had been homegroup leaders at Wycliffe Church, Reading, and helped with them!
And for the rest of this series of resources for homegroups and their leaders please see https://petelowmanresources.com/category/homegroup-leader-resources/ .)
