Ninth commandment: do not lie.
And it would be so great to live somewhere where people didn’t…
… Somewhere where, if we get a phonecall with a marvellous offer, it’s not just hiding a huge snag. Where the salesman will tell us if anything major is wrong with the car, or house, we’re buying. Where politicians really mean what they say at election time. Where footballers don’t win games by diving in the penalty box. Where if we need a new colleague, we can believe the CVs we get. Where we don’t have to fear that if we tell the truth, we’ll lose out to competitors (or other parents) who didn’t. Where if we go on dating websites, even Christian ones, what we find won’t be full of lies. Where, in short, we don’t have to grow forever suspicious, forever fearful, cynical.
And the even bigger problem is the voices in our own head that say it’s ok to lie. The voices that say, It’s only Instagram; I was just going to do it, just going to phone you; I didn’t realise I’d jammed the copier when I left it. Voices that say, Claim that your team actually hit their target; tell your client there are just a few unexpected extra costs. And we don’t have to tell the total truth about tax, do we, or expenses? And yet, as J John points out in his excellent book Ten: Laws of Love Set in Stone, more lying means more and more money has to be spent on preventing fraud, and double checking; which means higher taxes, and higher insurance premiums for everyone.
All liars go to hell, says Revelation 21:8, worryingly. Unrepentant liars, obviously – but that shows how vital it is for me to repent of any dishonesty of my own, and do something about it. J John notes that there are three kinds of `false testimony against your neighbour` God’s Word particularly forbids: gossip, slander, and flattery. (Which of these is the most common flaw in my personality?)
Gossip is amazingly welcome in our culture, isn’t it; in the media, and personally. `I shouldn’t tell you this, but…` – or even, `Just for your prayers…` But God says (Proverbs 16) that a gossip separates close friends, and it’s true: gossip keeps quarrels going; gossip actually ruins our friendships, because friends know we may gossip about them. Then slander: we badmouth somebody else, with just a tiny bit of careless exaggeration, and the voices in our head say we’re doing it for good motives; but God says, `Whoever slanders their neighbour in secret, I will put to silence.` I do not want God doing that to me! (That’s the NIV as usual; but indeed the ESV has `Whoever slanders his neighbour secretly I will destroy` (Psalm 101).) But it’s not always easy to notice we’re doing it; the voices in our head can be very subtle. And then thirdly there’s the opposite of slander: careless (lying) flattery. `A flattering mouth works ruin.` It does. Job says – another very strong verse – `If I were skilled in flattery, my Maker would soon take me away` (Job 32). A weakness of British culture is we’re not great at encouragement, and we each need to learn it; but if I become a flatterer, in the end no one will listen to my encouragement…
We slip so easily into gossip, flattery, slander (we really didn’t mean any harm did we?) But each time we do it, we’ve helped to make our culture – or our church – one where you shouldn’t trust anybody. It’s actually a huge issue: God says (Rev 22:15) that no one who comfortably goes on practising falsehood will go to heaven – do we believe it? And why’s that so? – because all lies go back to Satan the father of lies. So liars don’t go to heaven. And lies break relationships. If we catch ourselves lying we begin to doubt, Can I trust my family, am I actually safe with my friends? – because who knows, the other person might be just like me! Friendship depends on serious honesty and trust; if the trust is lost, we lose the real friendship.
God tells us, `Everyone should be slow to speak` (James 1). Which means, cultivate that space in which I’m thinking – or allowing the Spirit to alert me – what I’m about to say, is it true? Is it exaggerated? Who am I trying to help by saying this? Is it kind? And why does this person need to hear this? (I’ve never forgotten a colleague in Moscow saying, when I was unloading frustrations about something in another city, `Pete, do I need to hear this?` What a wise thing to say.) And would I say this about someone if my partner or a respected older friend were here, or indeed the person themselves? (God says: Go to them first.)
God calls us each to be people who (Psalm 15) keeps their word even when it hurts, trusting Him for the consequences, whose yes is yes and no is no (Matthew 5): little outposts of verbal trustworthiness. This is where change starts. But it’s true that in the end no rules or guidelines will cure us. The ten commandments tell us what God wants, what’s His agenda; but we can’t keep them on our own. So this is what knowing Jesus is about. Jesus said, `I am the truth`; so, to love Him means developing a passion for loving truth, truth no matter what, truth that glows, truth that inspires, truth that builds up. If we want this, we’ve got to have Jesus inside us, controlling us. We have to say to Jesus, I am part of the problem, I repent, I’m prepared to be counter cultural and to trust you for the consequences. Fill me with your Spirit (we need to pray this, consciously, every single day; and perhaps, in some environments or conversations, rather more often): fill me so that my body is a little outpost of truth, and of a different way of living.
We know this is potentially risky: following Jesus is – He got crucified. There may be snags in our job if we’re not prepared to lie; we may well get ripped off. We will need friends equally committed to truth. (I’m thinking of the `honesty chains` I’ve heard of in Africa: where an increasing number of people say, We will not lie, just like we will not bribe.) We can foster change!
And God will surely reward us longterm; but how we respond to that fact embodies how far we `live by faith…`
